Monday, December 21, 2009

That Darn Rap Music

You know what I'm talking about: That crazy stuff the kids are listening to these days. Those songs that all share the same beat and feature one or more indistinguishable rapper and maybe some chick with an auto-tuned voice.

Don't get me wrong; I like rap. It just seems that lately, it's been getting more and more ridiculous. Maybe I'm getting old, but I'm starting to not even know what people are talking about anymore. I mean, when "My Humps" came out a few years back, I thought that kid singing in the band room was making it up. And it's only getting worse.

I just listen to the radio and wonder WHAT DOES IT ALL MEAN?

Case in point, "Tik Tok" by Ke$ha (who apparently did the girl part in "Right Round" with Flo Rida...?). Not Keisha. Ke$ha. Somebody tell me her parents didn't really name her that. For the love of all that is good in the world. Please? Anybody?

Anyway, the only reason I took a liking to the song is because at one point she mentions "boys tryin' to touch [her] junk" and I totally sympathize. Boys try to touch my junk too. And then my boyfriend reminds me that I don't have junk. Because he's stupid. And jealous.

But seriously, the girl is nuts. I have the lyrics to prove it:

First off, why spell it "Tik Tok" rather than "Tick Tock?" Too reminiscent of the Three Blind Mice? Not hardcore enough?

"Wake up in the morning feeling like P. Diddy..."

Really? I wake up feeling like P. Diddy sometimes too. It feels like a hangover. But like, a played-out, self-absorbed, washed-up rapper/producer's hangover.

"When I leave brush my teeth with a bottle of Jack 'cause when I leave for the night, I ain't comin' back."

Dude. You totally can't brush your teeth with Jack Daniels. I'm pretty sure that has no oral hygienic value at all. In fact, I think it might actually corrode your teeth. Plus, it's probably hard to get it to stay on the toothbrush.

"Boys linin' up 'cause they hear we got swagger, but we kick 'em to the curb unless they look like Mick Jagger."

Excuse me? Have you SEEN Mick Jagger lately, Ke$ha? Dude is like, a million. And you're like 22. Or something. I didn't bother to Google it. But yeah, you'd have a Hugh Hefner situation going on for sure. Plus, what kind of boys at the club look like Mick Jagger anyway? Unless you were at Boogie Fever in Ferndale. In which case, there are totally a million old people. And my friend, Bret claiming to be a "dancing machine."

But yeah. I don't get it.


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