Monday, August 17, 2009

Karmic Payback

This is what I get. This is what I get for being so cocky. All, ooh look at me! Everything is going so right and my life is so charmed and awesome!

Bah humbug.

You wanna know how my day is going? I'll tell you how my day is going:

Everyone is mad at me. Which is an exaggeration. But one of my friends is mad at me and my mom is mad at me and consequently, other people that have chosen their sides are mad at me. And you know what? It's not my fault.

It's not my fault that some people can't be trusted and can't take it when you tell them so. And I didn't mean to be an accidental cock-block in my underwear with dye in my hair screaming about moving out. Not my fault.

You know what is my fault? The fact that I had to wear tight pants all day because I had to get all cocky at The Gap. Because damnit, I needed those khakis!

Also not my fault? The fact that I forgot about the potluck at work. Because my boss forgot too! So I was sent to Chicken Shack to pick up chicken and potatoes and cole slaw (which ironically, I hate). Except they sent me to pick it up at 10:30.

Do you know what time Chicken Shack opens? 10:30.

I rushed the doors at a Chicken Shack.

I felt like a total fat kid.

Plus, once they finally opened the doors and I almost fell inside, my face being pressed against the glass and all, I found out that whoever had ordered the chicken had ordered from the wrong Chicken Shack.

I was 3 miles away. Which is not far. BUT IT'S THE PRINCIPLE.

I'm obviously still bitter.

So yeah, that sums my day up. I am not allowed to be happy.

I mean, did you ever notice that there are always people that hate when you're happy? They're all, Oh, you have a boyfriend you love? Yeah, that's cute...while it lasts.


Is that ice cream good? Yeah? You're lactose-intolerant and that is going straight to your ASS.


Is that the new Miley Cyrus song you're excited about? SHE'S A DIRTY TEENAGE WHORE.

Basically, there are always going to be rude, stompy people crushing your happiness. All Godzilla-like and jealous. Haters. Drinking Haterade.

And make all the fun you want, but prostitots (see what I did there?) are people too.

Besides, she's just being Miley.


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